the origin of the feces

To start, I think the most important part about all of this, is for you, the reader, to understand exactly where I’m coming from as a Blogger. 

I started playing Warhammer way back in 1993.  Way back when Warhammer and 40k were just clones of eachother.  Way back when 50% of your 3000 point army could be Tyrion and Teclis.  Way back when Cyclone Missile Launchers only had 12 missiles in them, but you could blow your entire wad, and put down a 12 inch str8 template that would simply put a giant hole in your opponents army.  Way back when Chaos Dwarves were still considered a legal army.  Way back when… Well you get the idea.  My Space-Wolves were all but undefeated in something like 80 games (there was this one time, where they went back in time and got raped by 8 50 point repeater bolt throwers).  My Chaos Dwarves also won more than their fare share of the time, and my Necromunda gang had one dude named lucky, who was missing all of his fingers save his trigger finger, was blind in one eye, walked with a limp, and had been captured by enemy gangs, and gotten away…. twice. 

Along came college, Epic 40k had just come out the year before, and all of my warhammer buddies had graduated the year before I had, and were in the military, or college, or too busy being drunk and high all the time to want to play.  Then in college there was only one guy to play against, and 5th ed brought about a new army for me to play, the Lizardmen.  I’ll tell you what 5th, and 6th ed was a dark time for me with my Lizardmen.  They simply didn’t play the way I thought they ought to play . I was terrible and it showed. 

Then came my nirvana for gaming geekdom.  I moved to the northern panhandle of Idaho to finish up college.  While college eventually got put on the backburner for a pretty decent manual labor job, I became part of one of the best clubs to ever play the game of Warhammer in the Pacific Northwest.  Honestly, I would pit 5 of our best, against the 5 best of any club in the nation during this period of time, and I’d be willing to lay an even hundred dollars we’d go 3-2.  If you gave me 2-1 odds, I’d bet we’d go 4-1.  Oh boy, though, I was terrible.  I simply didn’t understand why people would flee from combat, why I never managed to get attacks with my saurus warriors, or how to deal with anything that had frenzy!

The Tomb Kings came out that next summer, and I was fed up with losing all the time.  I wanted an army that was under-represented in the area, I loved the look of the models, and most importantly, the chariot rules for the Liche Kings army in the Ravening Hordes book were broken all to fuck.  Couple that with the fact that their magic phase was unique and not nearly as hit or miss as the other armies available, I was sold.  I bought The Army box and never looked back.

Sadly, the Tomb Kings army book was much more toned down than any lists that the Ravening Hordes list could put forward.  Happily, they were still one of the best armies to hit the table through most of 7th edition.  I would still argue that the only army that I couldn’t work, consistently, was the Chaos Daemons, but no-one believes me.  I certainly chumped enough Dark Elves in my time.  Skaven gave me fits too, but that’s because they shoot like it’s no-bodies business. 

During that time, I cleaned up at my local tournaments, won best general at the Seattle GT in 2k4, took top 20 in 2k5, and all around became one of the most feared players in the area.

Since then, I’ve moved to Southern Montana, and 8th has hit, along with the new Tomb Kings, and I’ve fallen down to earth a bit, but I’m certain I’ll get this new army figured out.  This is a chronicaling of my Tomb-Kings exploits, random strategy, and my sounding board for any time anyone says anything stupid about WFB.


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